Critically Vexed

I don't write reveiws because I'm not a professional critic. And generally speaking, I don't read them either.

And all I can say, having just read a so-called review is, "If that's what it takes, then thank god for that!"

Now I quite like BBC's new drama series "Vexed". I like the actors who are in it and I particularly like the god-awful main characters.

He is cringingly crass, unprofessional, lazy, sexist, everything-ist and she is so far up herself that any moment now she is going to pop out between her own teeth.

But that's the point. It's not a serious portrayal of police work. It doesn't even fall properly into the crime fiction genre. It is about the relationship between to seriously flawed colleagues. And it's silly. As it is supposed to be.

The fact that they are difficult to watch only shows how well the actors portray them. And, in my house at least, there are regular exposions of delighted laughter at something or other whenever it is on.

Now that is about as critical as I get.  Because I actually work for a living.

I don't spend my entire life trawling through various forms of entertainment to see who I can villify in print. I'm not particularly well educated, because at sixteen, I got off my arse and went and earned a crust and have been doing so ever since.

So when I read Damien ****'s so-called review about "Vexed" on the website of a certain newspaper just now, I was left feeling astounded that someone could actually earn money writing such pompous shit. The boring toe-rag even managed to make a disparaging remark about the author's other current hit "Misfits" (E4) to which I have been glued, but gives no satsifactory nor even sensible argument to back up his remark.

So I'm afraid this particular review, in my completely pointless and invalid opinion, is about as useful and worthwhile as the chocolate fireguard to which I am so fond of alluding.

And if none of this makes any sense and just seems to be worthless drivel, would you mind putting my name up to some newspaper editors please?

You never know, I might get to write a review.

How does it feel Damien, to have a nobody tear the shit out of you for no other reason that to stroke his own over-fed ego?